00:05:43
by vincey
Summary: i am itachi and i feel like pointing out a few small things. Flame if you want i don't care, vincey will though.


I understand that this story is under the penname _vincey_, but for this 'fanfic', said _vincey_ is not the author. The author is I, Uchiha Itachi. Yes, I understand it is a great degradation for me to sit my hide and write fanfiction, but I look at things in a different perspective. Can you really call this fanfiction when it is the fiction writing and not the fan? No you cannot, this I am sure of. Said _vincey_ has offered me a PC (PC, I have recently discovered, means 'personal computer') to pour out my complaints on several fanfiction writers, who I feel have wronged me in several ways. I will get to those complaints after I get through the disclaimer, which said _vincey_ informed me was absolutely necessary.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, however, I do own a loose black cloak with red patterns and a ring which I do not plan on losing anytime soon. I own several other personal items but I do not wish to discuss them to you readers.

Now to get to the point.

I am flattered to be paired with several lovely ladies, even though some are younger or older or whatever, but I am highly disturbed with being paired with males. It is perfectly natural for me to be disgusted, especially when I find myself 'performing various sex acts' (pardon me while I choke on those words) on my brother. I do not discourage these types of fanfiction because there are (surprisingly) several people who are interested in them. I have yet to understand why though. I understand why I am given shrieks and sighs of adoration when my hair flaps in the breeze, but I do not understand why I get the same reaction when I supposedly 'do you know whats' with males. I do not wish to discourage writers of these 'yaoi' because readers seem to be entertained by them and because I do not want writers to 'lose their writing mojo'. However I do NOT encourage these things too. I will continue to detest these types of work but I will not hunt down writers who write them.

I find that most people conclude that I go on 'killing sprees' and enjoy 'blood-baths' from my 'several-innocent-bystander-victims', but I do not. I am aloof and emotionless, and cold and kind of unsociable, but I am not just about to kill somebody just because I am in a bad mood. Yes, I know it is easy to think that I am a cold-blooded killer because of slaughtering my clan but I have my reasons. I do not mindlessly kill like most people seem believe. Like I told Kisame in some episode, I do not want to kill unnecessarily.

When I talk, I talk in calm, minute tones and volume. I do not suddenly curse at a cat or 'evil laugh' going BWAHAHAHA! I do not torture people for fun. That is simply unorthodox, and I am not that. My dead parents (may they rest in peace) raised me well enough.

I am not afraid of my fangirls. They cannot find me by hunting me down with their own powers. My own brother can't find me, how can a bunch of rabid girls (and disturbingly some guys) find me?

I am not thrilled when I encounter a fangirl but I do not kill them on the spot. That is way too messy. I have been driven to genjutsu on one particular annoyance though, but I assure you it was a pretty weak jutsu.

Kisame and I are, as you might put it, 'buddies'. We do not argue a lot as some people might think. We may be the only team in the Akatsuki who tolerate each other. Kisame is also a pretty good gentleman. He does not trash talk or anything, only the occasional 'chopping off limbs'.

I do not obsess on my looks. That is too impractical a thing for a ninja to do. I must keep up with the Akatsuki fashion and color my nails but I do not spend hours in front of a mirror. My good looks come to me naturally without any fuss.

I am not vain.

I like the long lines under my eyes. Do not complain about them.

That is about it. I do not expect all writers to change their stories or anything; I don't even expect any to change theirs at all. I only wish to give little facts on myself because I do not wish to be stereo-typed the wrong way. An occasional, 'Itachi-gay' is amusing, I believe, but I do not wish to find everything written like that. I can tolerate a few 'Itachi-killing sprees' but do not believe that I go on such things.

Please leave a review to criticize me _severely. _Aforesaid, I will not hunt you down. Said _vincey_ insisted though that I 'punish' angry reviewers, but I will not do that. Comment on everything I said and we can have a friendly little, weaponless debate. Okay?

--Itachi


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